As I was on a coaching session with one of my mentors who is now a remarried widow, I told her that I was ready for the next chapter of my life. I told her that I was ready to be in a relationship. As we spoke about how I was ready to date, I looked into my Zoom camera and saw all of the pictures of me and Chris that were on the wall behind me. I thought to myself, "How can you be ready to start dating when you still have all of these photos of Chris on the wall?"
"Are you truly ready to move forward?"
After that moment, I reflected a bit and decided that it was time to remove the romantic photos of him and me from my photo wall. The first step on my "moving forward" journey was taking my wedding ring off in April. I then began wearing both of our rings around my neck. Initially, I wore it every day. If I left the house and realized that I forgot to put my necklace on, I would turn around and come home for it. More recently, I continue with my day and am okay if I don't have it on. The step of removing the photos from the wall was not as hard as I thought it would be. A few weeks ago, it crossed my mind as I was contemplating male company (which is a WHOLE OTHER BLOG POST). Long story short, I realized that I won't feel comfortable having another man in the house that I once shared with Chris. So for now, public dates it is!
I made the decision to leave the maternity photos of Chris and me on my wall so that Blue continues to see photos of him. I am sure that this dating journey will be full of emotions and reflection. I also realize that I have been spoiled for years. I don't enjoy cooking; he never made me clean, and he even did the laundry. Honestly, my phone still dies from time to time because he was the person who charged my phone every night (luckily Blue is responsible and charges it for me lol). I am still deciding how transparent I will get with these dating chronicles and if they will be in written or spoken form. One thing about me is that I will make a video about anything! Maybe it will be a series that I release because there are really some things that I would like to address as it relates to abstinence because your girl and all of my unmarried friends are STRUGGLING. I need the saints to give us some pointers on how to be successful on this journey because we all would like to know! But again, that's another conversation for another time. For now, I wanted to share this huge milestone with you all as I continue to travel through this journey.
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